Friday, October 15, 2010

To my amazing frikes:

I have been so touched by the outpouring of love I've seen over the past couple of weeks. I envisioned this month as a time when I could help to spread awareness of the horrible disease that took my mom from me; you all have helped to turn it into a time of selflessness, of giving, of support, of joy, of action. Those of you who know me personally know that I am rarely without words, but this month I have been speechless many times. Oh, and you also know I never, ever cry or piddle. ;)

Now it's time for me to tell you something about myself. This is hard, so bear with me.

I have a really hard time taking compliments.

When I do giveaways, sometimes it's out of the goodness of my heart, but sometimes it's because it's good, easy advertising.

When I make cause bracelets, it's because I see a need for more awareness. When I sell one, I give a portion of the sale to a charity that corresponds with the cause, because I want to practice what I preach and support research.

When we did Jillian's 30-day shred, I started with you all and gave up during the third week because it was too hard. So when all of you who completed it finished, I couldn't pick just one to receive a bracelet; I was so impressed with all of you that I had to make one for each of you.

Today has been really tough, reading all the stories of women who've lost precious babies. I'm so glad that each of you had a space to share your stories; but again, after reading them all, how could I pick just one person (or 8 people) to give bracelets to? Put yourself in my position; you couldn't have done it, either.

So when I read all the comments on my posts about me being amazing, it makes me cringe. I don't do this for compliments. I don't do this so people will like me. I do it because I feel a tug in my heart to do it, and I've learned to always follow those tugs.

Yes, I feel things very deeply. Yes, I love people with my whole heart. Yes, I have empathy for anyone who is suffering or in pain. But if I could do all of this without my name being attached to it, I wouldn't change a thing, in fact, I'd do more.

A dear friend has tried to teach me that it's hurtful when I don't take compliments in the spirit they're intended, so I'm trying to do better. It's going to take a long time, and it's hard, but I'm working on it.

So here's what I'm asking of you. Tell me thank you, tell me I'm funny, tell me you love me. Tell me how beautiful the bracelets are, tell me how much you want a shirt (you know who you are). Tell me how you support the causes I support. In return I promise I'll take your compliments in the spirit they are intended, and be gracious. And I'll try not to twitch. :)

But I'm not amazing. I'm just doing what I feel in my heart, just like I hope everyone does. If you don't already follow your heart, why not start now? It's never too late.

Thanks for being my frikes. <3

18 comments:

  1. You are wonderful Cathy, a heart of gold my friend a big heart of gold!

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  2. You have brought me to tears again. You have shown me that there are truly good people out there.

    You make me laugh, and sometimes run to the bathroom so I don't piddle myself. I <3 you and who you are.

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  3. And this is why we all truly love you Cathy. It's not because you give so much, it's because you give so much of yourself.

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  4. I love you, you crazy woman...nobody who knows you at all thinks you do this for the compliments Pfffft! lol

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  5. My life is better because you are in it!!!!!

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  6. I have a good friend who is the same way Cathy...He does wonderful things with his local charity and he does them because he knows it is what he is called to do...He knows that many more help him to do that....The thing is when you follow your heart it is always done with passion and love and when you do that it works and people REALLY appreciate you,,, making it hard for most to NOT tell you that you are wonderful.....but I will tell you this I am glad I got to be a Frike through this and YOU bring at least 1 smile and laugh to me every day...and for that I am very happy to know you!!! <3

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  7. You are about the most amazing person in the whole unicorn! I can't even tell you how much I want to be like you (because you'll likely start twitching! ha!)
    <3 u bunches, Caffee!!

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  8. You are wrong, you absolutely are amazing.

    If I could have lived my life with that big old Cathy kiss on my cheek I would certainly have never ever washed it off. I swear it!

    I will not stop telling you how truly wonderful you are and how you make my life better, happier. I just can't. (I think I am wired to tell people these things anyways.)

    I love you tons and tons.

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  9. Thank you for being.......YOU! ♥

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  10. You shine the true light of Jesus, my friend! Your compassion for .. everyone, is what makes you so special to us!
    Love you my Cathy the Great! :) lol

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  11. Reading your story brought tears to my eyes. I myself have a very hard time taking a compliment from people. I have body issues very bad, I have a disorder called neurofibromatosis. I have marks called cafe-e-olet spots all over my body and I have raised marks all over my stomach and my back. I at times feel very ugly because of these marks. I also gave the disorder to my kids and I feel that guilt everyday I see the marks on there bodies. I knew the risks of passing it on to my kids, but I did it anyway. I wanted to have kids and I love that I did it. I love being a mother, it's the greatest joy ever. I have been through all kids of bad relationships. Abusive in every way and I've been cheated on. But I'm glad that I have good friends to help me get through he bad times. Cathy you are a very amazing woman for all that you do.

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  12. How can you look in the mirror and not see the amazing women we all see? People that have never really met you are inspired, touched, and amazed by you.
    You are truly one of a kind. You're a very special woman. I know many people who agree with me. I love you! Keep being yourself.

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  13. I totally get every word you said, and wish I could just give you a huge old hug every time I am reminded about who you are. That hug I was lucky enough to get will stay with me always. For all the things that you truly are, you are also very real. A real woman, a real mom, a real wife, a real artist, a real humorist, a real friend. I am forever grateful to have known you now for as long as I have, and I look forward to having you in my life for many more years to come. Love you!!

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